Vampire Knight Holidays
by Kizee
Summary: Random chapters my friends and I like to make about the VK characters on holidays. WARNING: Crackfic. Not good for the unstupid...
1. Christmas

**The Christmas List to Santa **

Aidou: And for Christmas I want a magic pony pretty perfume kit with the matching make up that goes with it. I also want a hamster! One that is bright orange!

Akatsuki: That is so gay.

Santa: Well, little girl-

Akatsuki: I'm a boy. *dead serious*

Santa: Well....uh. Little Boy! What would you like?

Akatsuki: I want a flaming red motor cycle with a pretty princess pony painted printed on it. I also want a flame red pretty princess crown helmet. And I also need a NEW Selena Gomez doll because SOMEONE(Zero) ate my old one. Ow! Santa!

Santa: What?

Akatsuki: You touched my butt!!! PERVERT!!!!!

Santa: Calm down, little girl.

Akatsuki: I'M A BOY!!!!!!!

Zero: My turn! *pushes the girl/boy off Santa/PERVERT's lap.

Santa: Next.

Zero: Nooo! (girl shriek) *hugs Santa* Yuuki, take a picture!

Yuuki: *takes picture*

Santa: Now what do you want?

Zero: Did Akatsuki ask for a Selena Gaymez doll?

Santa: Who? That girl?

Zero: Yes.

Kaname and Aidou: *glare*

Santa: Just tell me what you freakin want!!!!

Zero: That's not nice, Santi.

Santa: If you don't tell me I will make you leave! Where's your mom?

Zero: DEAD!!!!

Santa: No. Where's your mother.

Zero: She's dead and now I want her for Christmas. So I want:

1. My mom.

2. All Hannah Montana concert tickets

3. The new Hannah Montana soundtrack

4. The NEW Hannah Montana doll (I HAVE all the old ones)

Akatsuki: Yes! I took four of them as payback!

Zero: You What?!!!!

Santa: Just get back to naming the crap you want!

Zero: Oh Santi!!!! Anyway,

5. The HM car

6. The HM cruise ship

7. The HM helicopter with the matching plane (pink)

8. ALL HM shirts with matching sunglasses

9.-

Santa: How many freakin' things do you freakin' want?!!!!!

Zero: A lot. We're just scratching the surface.

Santa: Next.

Zero: What?

Santa: *shoves Zero off lap*

Kaname: *refuses to sit on Santa's lap*

Santa: Well then what do you want?

Kaname: *screams* I WANT YUUKI!!!!!

Samantha: *stands up-pissed* Hello!!!!! You're going out with me!

Kaname: Right. Let's keep this a secret between you and I.

Santa: Right..... I know how you feel. I'm going out with Jack Frost's wife.

Kaname: Santa!!!! That is!!! Nice....

Santa: Thank you. Now what do you want?

Kaname: WORLD DOMINATION!!!!!

Santa: How about we split it. Then we can rule the world.

Kaname: Sounds like a deal....

Santa: NOW GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!

4 girls walk up to Santa. (They're girlfriends)

Santa: What would you like?

Girls: Normal boyfriends.

THE END!!!

By: Casey, Lauren, Andy, and Sami.


	2. MLKKaname's Birthday

So these are now written by candtcane and myself. Half are on her account and half on mine (we're fighting over who gets what). So feel free to look up her story! Thanks! ^^

* * *

What happens when Milk Day and Kaname's birthday fall on the same day.

By candtcane_55 and Kizee.

Ichijo: Kaname? *knocks three times on Kaname's bedroom door* Kaname? *knocks three more times* Kaname?

Kaname: WHAT!?!

Ichijo: It's Milk Day and your birthday! Time to get up for both parties!

Kaname: DANNIT! I forgot to make my cup of "milk" AND get myself a gift!

Ichjo: Well we're going to have your party later so come on down.

Kaname: Whatever.

*15 minutes later*

Ichijo: Well we are gathered here to talk about Milk Day and Kaname's Birthday.

Zero: Why am I here?

Yuuki: Shut up *starts to cry* I want you to be here *sniff*

Kaname: I want you to be here too, Zero! ;)

Zero: Oh hulk no! *Starts walking out*

Aidou: *blocks door* There is no escape.

Zero: From?

Ichijo: Stripper Dare!

Yuuki: We play truth or dare and when you lose or lie you take off a part of your clothing! ^^

Ruka: This is how we celebrate birthdays and holidays.

Ichijo: Okay. Kaname since its your birthday you get to go first.

Kaname: Okay whatever.

Zero: Truth or dare?

Kaname: DARE! DUH!

Zero: Okay. Um..... Let me see....

Zero: Oh~ I know! First, get dressed in the girl's uniform and then make out with Aidou for 10 seconds!

Kaname: WHAT?!

Aidou: Wha? *blushy*

Ichijo: *spits out his milk*

Shiki: Give you any ideas, Chiji-san?

Kaname: *puts on girls uniform*

Yuuki: Now it's time to kiss Aidou!

Kaname: Never!!! *runs out of room, and down the hall and out of the dorm toward the class rooms*

Fan girls: Kaname-sama *bow* Happy Milk Day!

Kaname: Whatever! ohh oooh haha *makes monkey sounds*

Fan girls: Ahh *faints to ground*

Ruka: Kaname-sama, come back!!

Yuuki: Sorry, fantards. Go be someone else's sex slaves!

Girls: Yuuuuuuuki! :O

Akatsuki: Okay, so let's get Dorm President Kuran back. *begins to drag him*

Yuuki: Oh no! You might floor burn is hot smexy butt! *picks him up and puts her-him on shoulders.

Aidou: Yuuki... is?!

Yuuki: That's right, Aidou-senpai. I. Am... the Hulk?

Akatsuki: no.

Yuuki: Well I'm buff, okay? REALLY BUFF!

Ruka: no.

Kaname: *kicks and screams* put me down!!!

Yuuki: Never!!

Zero: I still don't see why I had to come?

Akatsuki: Cuz you're a vampire.

Zero: No I'm not. I'm Santa! ( from Kaname's Diary by Kizee)

Ichijo: Whatever.

Ruka: Why is there a holiday based on Milk?

Rima: Because everyone (besides Andrea) loves milk! DUH!!!

Yuuki: It is based on milk because I had a dream. A dream of babies sucking on their mamma cow's-

Everyone: ENOUGH!!!!!

Zero: No doit Kaname!

Kaname: I'd rather die!

*dramatic scene change- everyone is now on the roof*

Aidou: You'd rather die?!

Kaname: Yes! *looks down* Well... no.

Aidou: Yippeee! *kissy face*

Yuuki: Oops I dropped him!

Kaname: *slow motion* *falls to ground*

Zero: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ruka: YOU *screams at Yuuki*

Yuuki: ME *dances around*

Kaname: *hits ground*

*another dramtic scene change- Kaname wakes up in is his bed*

Kaname: It was all a dream?

Ichijo: Kaname? *knocks three times on Kaname's bedroom door* Kaname? *knocks three more times* Kaname? *knocks three more times*

Kaname: WHAT!?!?!?!

Ichjio: It's Milk Day and your birthday! Time to get up for both parties!

Kaname: *jumps out of bed* *in girls uniform* NEVER!!! *runs and tackles door tacking down Ichijo with him*

Ichijo: Un jhi gue wpwe *face wrapped in gauze*

Shiki: Chiji!!! Kaname!!! What did you do to him!?!?!

Kaname: Nothing. Nothing at all.

Martin Luther King: *walks in*

Kaname: Wow...

MLK: Peace!

Kaname: Uh-huh...

*3 minutes of talking with Kaname and the others*

MLK: DIE FOOLS!!!!!!!!! *brings out gun and shoots wildly*

Kaname: *gets shot in between eyes and falls to ground dramatically*

"Dramastic Scene Change III*

Kaname: Ugh....

Ichijo: Kaname! Kaname! Get up!!!!!! *knocks on the door annoyingly* Kaname?! *kicks door* Kaname!!! *booty bumps door*

Kaname: WHAT?!

Ichijo: It's MILK DAY AND YOUR BIRTHDAY! Time to get undressed for BOTH parties!

Kaname: Screw my life....


End file.
